You open her fridge to put the milk away. A jar of pickles. Half a loaf. A single yoghurt, close to its date. You ask what she has had today, and she says “some toast”, and then, kindly, so you will not worry, “I’m not that hungry these days.”

Most of us nod and change the subject. This week, which is UK Malnutrition Awareness Week, we would like to suggest you do not.

Eating to live, not living to eat

For a lot of older people, something shifts in how they feel about food. Appetite fades. Meals that once meant a table full of family become a plate for one. And cooking, which many of us do without thinking, is real work: the shop, the carrying, the chopping, the pans, the washing up. For one person, with tired knees and a small appetite, it can feel like too much. So the dinner becomes toast and tea, and then, some days, nothing at all.

We have heard this from friends talking about their own parents, and from our own families. Nobody is being lazy or difficult. They are eating to live, not living to eat. The trouble is that this can slide, slowly, from eating less to eating too little.

What the numbers say

Around one in ten people over 65, more than a million in the UK, are malnourished or at risk of it, according to Age UK and the Malnutrition Task Force. Losing weight without meaning to is not a normal part of getting older, but a Malnutrition Task Force poll of people over 60 found that over a third believed it was. People who are undernourished are twice as likely to visit their GP, and they tend to have more hospital admissions and longer stays.

The cost of living makes it harder. Age UK’s 2026 report found that one in five pensioners had cut back on food and groceries to cope financially, and 3.4 million pensioners are struggling. A Which? survey in April found that about three million households were skipping meals. The cheapest filling foods are not always the most nourishing, and when money is tight, the weekly shop is often the first thing squeezed.

Ask, Look, Listen

This year’s campaign, run by BAPEN and the Malnutrition Task Force, gives us three simple verbs.

Ask. If someone is older, unwell, or on their own, ask whether they are eating and drinking alright. Ask about their appetite, and whether they can manage shopping and cooking. It sounds small, and it can make all the difference.

Look. Look for loose clothes, belts, rings or dentures. Look at the fridge and the cupboards. Look at whether the local shop has closed, or whether they have stopped going out.

Listen. Listen for tiredness, worry, loneliness, or a lost interest in things they used to love. Often the problem is not food. It is everything around it.

What actually helps

None of this needs a lecture. Think of it as making eating easier, not making it better.

• Make it less work. Batch-cooked meals in single portions, a freezer of things they like, tinned fish, eggs, beans and frozen vegetables. Ready meals and a microwave are perfectly respectable. So is a supermarket delivery.

• Little and often. Three small meals and a few snacks can be easier than one large plate. If weight is dropping, full-fat milk, butter and cheese can add goodness without adding volume.

 • Eat together. Food tastes better, and is eaten more, in company. A weekly lunch with you, or a neighbour, is worth more than it looks.

• Check the money. Age UK offers a free benefits check, and many older people are not claiming support they are entitled to. Local councils and charities can sometimes help with meals.

• Do not wait. If a parent has lost weight without trying, or you are worried, see the GP. BAPEN also has a free self-screening tool at bapen.org.uk.

If you are the adult child, aim to be a presence, not a policeman. Please do not interrogate the fridge. Bring something to eat, and sit down and share it.

A word from us

This week is also Self-Care Week, and for many older people self-care starts with a meal that someone made possible.

We sell vitamins, and we have left them out of this post on purpose. Malnutrition is a food and care problem. A supplement is not the answer, and anyone losing weight without meaning to should see their GP.

One question

Ask, Look, Listen. The next time you visit, ask the question. It might feel like nothing. It could be the thing that catches it early.

Sources

BAPEN and the Malnutrition Task Force. UK Malnutrition Awareness Week 2026: Ask, Look, Listen. bapen.org.uk

Age UK. Malnutrition: Signs, Causes and Prevention. ageuk.org.uk

Malnutrition Task Force. Older People and Malnutrition in the UK Today: State of the Nation. malnutritiontaskforce.org.uk

Malnutrition Task Force. Weight Loss in Later Life Not a Normal Part of Ageing. Reported by PEN, peng.org.uk

Age UK. Fragile Budgets, Difficult Choices (2026). Reported by Age UK East Sussex, ageuk.org.uk

Which?. Millions of UK Households Skipping Meals. which.co.uk, April 2026