He has been tired for months. Not “stayed up too late” tired. The kind where he is asleep on the sofa by nine, then awake at three. He snaps at the dishwasher. He has stopped mentioning the cycling trip. He has lost interest in things that used to light him up, and when you ask, he says the same thing every man has said since the beginning of time. “I’m fine. Just busy.”

Hold that picture, because for two weeks we have been telling you what perimenopause does to the body, and some of it may have sounded oddly familiar.

Guess what. He may be going through a transition of his own.

It is not a “crisis”. It is biology.

From around 40, a man’s testosterone drifts down, by roughly one percent a year. There is no dramatic moment, no hot flush, no announcement, so nobody names it. The culture has one name for it, and the name is “midlife crisis”, usually accompanied by a motorbike. (We have seen the motorbike.) Women get called hormonal. Men get a motorbike and a raised eyebrow. It is the same biology wearing different labels.

To be clear, most men with ordinary age-related changes are perfectly fine. Low testosterone as a medical condition, called hypogonadism, is a diagnosis made from symptoms and blood tests, and it affects a minority of men. But the minority are real, and so is the silence around them.

Is it the hormones, or is it Tuesday?

Honestly, it can be hard to tell. The signs that point most specifically towards low testosterone are the ones nobody mentions at dinner: a fading sex drive, no more morning erections, trouble getting or keeping an erection. Then come the vaguer ones: tiredness, low mood, a fog where concentration used to be, softer muscles, a thicker middle, restless sleep.

That second list is the problem, because every item on it has other common causes, including poor sleep, sleep apnoea, low mood, thyroid problems, diabetes, too much drink, some medications, and plain overwork. So the only way to know is to ask. Guessing helps nobody, and neither does “just getting older”.

What happens when he finally asks

The GP can arrange a blood test. Testosterone is at its highest in the morning, so the sample is taken early, usually before 11am, sometimes fasting. One low reading is only a snapshot, so a low result is normally repeated on another day. If it stays low, more tests help explain why. There is no single magic number: UK guidance generally treats readings below about 8 nmol/L as pointing towards deficiency, and the grey area above that is judged against how he actually feels.

A normal result is not a failure. It simply sends the search somewhere else, which is also useful.

What to say in the room

Tell the doctor the plain version. “I’ve been exhausted for six months, my drive has gone, and I don’t feel like myself.” Mention sleep, drinking, weight changes and any tablets. Ask for a morning testosterone test, and ask what else could explain it. Seven honest sentences will do more than seven months of “fine”.

What helps, and what does not

Whatever the blood test says, the unglamorous basics matter: decent sleep, regular strength-based exercise, a healthy weight and moderate drinking are all linked with better hormone levels and better mood. Testosterone replacement exists, but it is a doctor’s decision after confirmed low levels and symptoms, with monitoring afterwards. The “testosterone booster” pills sold online are not a shortcut. And no, we do not sell one, and nothing in our range raises testosterone.

To the woman who loves him

You know how the word “hormonal” lands, so please do not open with it. Instead, say what you have noticed, kindly and specifically. “You haven’t seemed like yourself since the spring, and I miss you.” Offer to sit beside him while he books the appointment. Many men have no words for this, and handing him a few is one of the kindest things you can do.

We are not suggesting that you are from different planets. You are the same biology, arriving at the same stage of life by different routes.

One more thing about mood

Low mood is not always “just hormones”. If it is heavy, or has lasted for weeks, he should see his GP, and if he is ever in crisis, the Samaritans are there on 116 123, any time of day or night.

Why this month

Movember raises money for men’s mental health and suicide prevention, and for research into prostate and testicular cancer. International Men’s Day lands on 19 November, and its theme this year is “The Future Is Everyone”. We could not have said it better ourselves. The same bodies, the same questions and the same right to an answer, for everyone.

A word from us

A varied, balanced diet is the foundation, and no supplement replaces it. Within that, B vitamins contribute to the reduction of tiredness and fatigue and to normal psychological function. Selenium contributes to the normal function of the immune system and to the protection of cells from oxidative stress. Our Vitamin B Complex and Selenium are there for the weeks when the diet falls short. That is all we say about them.

So, guess what

Men go through a transition too. If he is tired, flat and not quite himself, he is not weak, and he is not alone.

Book the appointment. Ask for the morning test. It takes one phone call.

Food supplements should not be used as a substitute for a varied and balanced diet and a healthy lifestyle.

Sources

Movember. Changing the Face of Men’s Health. movember.com

Buckinghamshire, Oxfordshire and Berkshire West ICB. Testosterone for Hypogonadism in Men: Guideline. bucksformulary.nhs.uk

North Bristol NHS Trust, Blood Sciences. Biochemical Investigation of Suspected Endocrine Problems in Males. nbt.nhs.uk

Cleveland Clinic. Low Testosterone (Male Hypogonadism). my.clevelandclinic.org

International Men’s Day. 2026 Theme. internationalmensday.com